With one month away from the boys turning two, I’m finally
beginning to feel like my head is rising above the fog and the clouds that are
the first two years of life with twins. Sometimes I am amazed that we have made it
this far, but most of the time, I can’t picture our lives any other way. This was how our life was supposed to play
out. Its God ordained.
As I look back on the last two years, I remember so many moments
where I didn’t feel like I was enough for these kids. I never had enough energy, enough patience,
enough time and I definitely didn’t have enough hands to take care of two baby
boys. There were moments of joy and
moments of feeling that overwhelming love that takes over when your child looks
into your eyes and you really connect. However,
our children’s moods change so quickly, that it’s easy to lose touch with
those moments. Sure, we’ve been told
that parenting only gets harder as your children grow up and their problems
become more complicated. I think those
parents never had the experience of parenting twins. Much less, parenting our twins. Now that the fog
is clearing and I look into the eyes of our children (no longer babies) I’m
truly excited about the summer to come.
And as summer approaches, I have been doing some thinking
about what I want our summer to look like.
In this world full of distractions, it’s easy to get tied up with a
phone in one hand, a mop in the other, and no energy, face time or extra hands
to give to our children. I’ve decided to
put down the mop, turn off the phone and be present for my kids. Instead of holding a phone, I want to hold my
kids hands as they slide, climb and swim.
I want to enjoy their laughter and laugh with them. These are the moments that can’t be
planned. And once they’re missed, they’re
missed forever.
Moments like Benjamin’s excited giggles as he watches the
water splash up from the side of the boat.
He turns to me to make sure I saw it, too. With my reassuring smile I nod to our shared
experience.
Moments like Taylor sliding for the first time all by
himself. I’ve never seen him smile so
big.
Moments like picnics on the boat, sharing a turkey sandwich
and trying to keep our kids from throwing their sippies into the water.
Moments like the discovery of a mud puddle and the fun Taylor had chasing Mommy with his muddy hands.
Moments like these are priceless. And I pray to God that there are many more of
these to come.
Love this.
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