I started running in May as a way to lose all that baby weight (times two). I had no idea it would become the driving force in my life. Running was the easiest and cheapest way to get in a little workout time. Plus, it’s just a good excuse to get out of the house for some time by myself. As one week turned into two, turned into three and more, I realized running had become so much more than that. My grandmother’s lung cancer recurred and as I spoke with my mom and grandmother and learned of her struggles to breathe comfortably and be the independent woman she was, I began to run harder and faster (12 minute miles became 11 minute miles). I ran because she couldn’t run. I became aggressive with my running just to get to the point where I was out of breath because I could. I can run. I can run to the point of exhaustion. I’m physically capable of that and it’s a blessing that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
I began running in May and ran through the hot and humid days of summer. Now I run through the beauty of the fall leaves and, when I can’t get out early enough, the darkness of the chilly, fall evenings. Running is an addiction in the sense that your mind, body and soul come to crave it. But, it also takes some dedication, especially when you’re trying to keep to a regimented training routine. I don’t always feel like going for a run. Even after mile 1, I find myself wishing I was lounging on the couch in my comfy clothes. As much as it is a challenge to get out of the house and break into that first running stride, I never regret lacing up my shoes.
The other night, on my last tempo run of my half marathon training, I began to ponder my experience as a runner. I started running in the most perfect of weather: the spring! In the spring the air has a slight chill to it. There’s no need to bundle up, because after just a couple of minutes jogging your body has acclimated to the temperature and it feels comfortable and just right. Then the heat of the summer sank in. There were days when I felt I could barely breathe the air was so thick with humidity. Fall turned the corner and I was back to that perfect running weather. But, just like life, the weather can change quickly and I found myself running in the cold rain for a solid 10 miles. My body was so rocked by the cold that I barely felt the physical exhaustion of a long distance run.
Then came the falls. Fall once and it’s funny, fall twice and you're just plain clumsy. Every runner has to experience this at one time or another, but how many runners fall twice in the span of four days? As I felt myself rocketed to the ground for a second time I believe I actually uttered the words “you got to be kidding me.” Again, I did a quick scan to make sure I didn’t have an audience then assessed my bleeding hands and finished up the last mile of my run aching with pain.
As I jogged, limped and wobbled the last half mile to my car, I realized that running will never look as perfect as it does from the outside. I will fall and have to get back up. I will come back home with a few cuts and bruises. I may even get injured from time to time. But isn’t running just like life in the sense that over time you build up an endurance to it all? You learn to get back up and keep going. You learn that no two runs will ever look and feel the same. There will be bad days and good days. I am not a perfect runner. As much as I would like you to think that training for a half marathon is easy…it’s not. And as much as I would like you to think that I am confident about my first full marathon in April…I’m really scared to death. But nothing in life is ever a sure thing. So I’ll keep running this race with endurance, but most importantly, I’ll be running through all of life’s trials and seasons and remember and pray for those who can’t.
Special Note: I run for more birthdays. I run to fight cancer. My grandmother passed away just a few short weeks before her birthday and I would’ve given anything to celebrate with her. If you want to support me in my race to fight cancer please click on the following link: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/DetermiNation/DNFY11National?px=24237998&pg=personal&fr_id=35296
